Regis’ After School Special

You heard it here first. Or at least, second.

Melvis has a new podcast coming out. And he’s no longer interested in plain audio, ladies and gentlemen. That’s right: he will be subjecting us to his grinning mug on the screen because “M.B.” will be a video podcast!

Mel is currently filming season 1, and he hopes to start releasing episodes early next month. I asked him why he wouldn’t move for an immediate release, and he replied that he wanted no interruptions once Season 1 began. Picky celebrities know what they want– and that’s what makes them the best. Fan Club intel says we can expect the season to begin right after the Independence Day holiday.

What can we expect? Rumor has it that Mel came up with the idea of a video show after watching a “Surreal Life” marathon. This suggests you can expect a regular cast of characters and personal reflections on the events you see on the screen. But I can’t imagine a Melvis product without at least a little bit of performing. Due to the success of the interview-song format of the Melvis audio show, sources suspect he will follow a similar formula when he switches to video.

What is the show called? Mel says everyone knows what he’s capable onstage, this show will be to show everyone the rare, personal side not many people get to know. I guess we’ll have to live with that cryptic answer until the master reveals all.

After writing a less-than-friendly response to an article on engadget.com, I received a comment from the author of that post. Please check the comments to my previous post to see the response. Had I known the author of the article would actually read my post and respond in a serious manner, I certainly would have used a more cordial tone. My apologies, Steve. And so, after looking up the meaning of ‘ad hominem’, I write…

The charge per upload certainly isn’t a final solution for YouTube, but it is one way to regulate uploads. And, sure, it might not cost much for upload and storage of clips, but it comes back to being able to find the good stuff. (As an aside, it relies on a personal definition of “good stuff”. I like being able to watch the opening credits of the A-Team, but it might not be the most viral of videos.)

Regarding TV money numbers, do they need an estimate of how popular a video will be before buying the ad time? How can they guess which clips will be wildly popular and which will be mildly popular? I know Rocket Boom guaranteed a certain number of views in order to get bids for the ad time. Would YouTube spread this guarantee over many clips until the number of views were met? I guess these are details that don’t relate to the theoretical solutions, but I would be interested in seeing how YouTube approaches these questions.

Anyway, thanks for reading the weblog, and I don’t necessarily disagree with advertising; I’m sure ads are a smart solution. I suppose the ads might not be placed with a clip until it reached a certain number of views or something. I’m just reluctant to the idea of sitting through a 30-second ad to watch a clip that ends up sucking. I guess I’m more willing to bear a burden uploading the material than being burdened with ads while skimming for the “good stuff”.

Please read Stephen Speicher’s article posted at http://www.engadget.com. Here’s an excerpt that mirrors my opinion posted previously:

“it was when eBay started charging for its auctions that the site became useful. Until that point in eBay’s existence, “good” auctions were often hard to find amidst the sea of “bad” auctions.”

I don’t understand why he would make this point and then not suggest (as I had) that YouTube charge per upload. He goes on to suggest advertising as the final word in making the site money. And while the prospect of producers making money from content they upload to YouTube is attractive, how does this mingle with copyrighted content users upload?

Why is YouTube allowed to traffic copyrighted material, and would significant revenue intake draw negative attention to that fact? Would YouTube be in trouble for profiting from copyrighted material it doesn’t own?

Giving producers a cash reward would only encourage more people to upload videos, good, bad, or copyrighted. Why not upload as many videos as possible and increase your chances of making a few cents? This would only encourage more uploads, not make them “stop growing and start making money”. There are also many examples of multiple uploads of the same copyrighted video. These people could easily leech off an initial upload’s popularity and prevent original uploaders from making the money they deserve.

Besides, eBay charges the seller. This example only reinforces my idea of charging per upload. Speicher helps make my point, then misses the point.

“a system whereby quality content owners are eager to submit their work and websites have an incentive to find the best quality clips to feature on their sites.”

It’s clear that people are eager to sumit their work, hence YouTube’s popularity. And I’m sorry, but are there sites devoted to featuring the dumbest, most adolescent of clips? The good will always rise, regardless of monetary possibilities, and this weblog stands for that cause! And you’re never going to attain a “best quality” with the degree of compression YouTube uses.

But therein lies another flawed but possible monetary scheme for YouTube. Low quality streaming and pristine dowload-for-money. iTunes sells music videos for $1.99, and a similar model could carry over to YouTube. Users can watch low-quality versions for free, but can purchase cleaner copies to keep. The question is, will people pay for independently made videos if they’re entertaining enough? I would, and I think others would as well. It’s also dependent on iPod video’s popularity. The small screen and memory capabilities of personal video players make brief viral clips the perfect bubble gum to fill up players.

It’s probably inevitable that ads will eventually permeate YouTube. Producers do deserve to make money off their original content, but they should pay a very nomial fee for that chance. The flash player and imbedding culture of the site will make it interesting to see how successful it is against other sites like iFilm who depend on ad insertion and premium subscription offers.

It is with great sadness that I announce the passing of our good friend, the Groundhog.

“Stumpy”, as his friends knew him (mostly because of his residence close to a tree stump), led a full, happy life. Little is known about his birth and early years, other than he had big dreams and lofty aspirations.

As an adult, Stumpy set up permanet residence by the road, an exciting yet dangerous neighborhood. He worked hard to chew as many dandelions as he could in one day, and likely set a world record in the process.

The Groundhog was found by the road late last week, the apparent victim of a hit-and-run driver. It is unclear to what extent the authorities will pursue his assasin.

Stumpy will be remembered most for his thick brown fur and his humorous waddle. His next of kin have yet to be notified.

Stumpy, we hardly knw ye.

A month ago, while driving home from work, I noticed a brown furry patch in the grass by the road. “I wonder what that was…a big squirrel? A small bear? A schnuaser?” Oh well.

The next day I saw the same patch in roughly the same spot. What the heck was it?

The third time I drove much slower to see what it was. Would it still be there? Did it live there? Was it an old purse someone threw out their car window? Sure enough, it was a groundhog (Marmota monax) eating the dandelions.

I told my wife about my new friend, and I don’t think she really believed me until I drove her past the spot and she saw him for herself! Too many pronouns! She was very excited and thought it funny he would hang out in the same place all the time.

I started calling him Phil, but he doesn’t look like a Phil, so I need to come up with another name for him. He is cute and cuddly, and would be a welcome house guest compared to the skunks. Maybe I can hire him as a yardkeeper, a kind of guard-hog.

And why groundhog? Do normal hogs not inhabit the ground? “…when pigs fly.” I would call it a pokey-bear or something. What do the Aussies call them? They always have good names.

Lately TWIT keeps bringing up statistics about YouTube and the “thousands of Terabytes” it uses per day. They estimate the cost of running the site is $1 Million per month, and that at this rate, YouTube will be gone in 8 months or so without a strong source of revenue. Source

Should they make sweeping changes to YouTube to make it last? What would help?

First, I love the idea of free internet, free content, free everything. YouTube is extremely accessible for new viewers wanting to check it out. I pay for an internet connection, but once connected, I can receive the content for free. And I doubt anyone would pay to see most of the stuff people upload to the site anyway.

I also think that YouTube is about entertainment, not sharing (like Flickr). Nearly all video uploaded is intended to entertain and gain popularity (hence the rating systems being a part of the experience). If it was about sharing home movies with family, I’d have a different opinion, and it should be noted that it is possible for that type of sharing to occur now.

The main cost lies in sending out the packets, and YouTube pays for that bandwidth. One change would charge producers to upload content. Along with bringing in a portion of revenue, it would also have the effect of limiting submissions without censorship. It would hopefully pare down the 35,000 cellphone clips from the playground so we wouldn’t have to weed though as much to find the good stuff. Maybe people would think about the content before they upload it.

A charge of $1 US per uploladed clip would offset the $1 Million per month cost of operation with some leftover. A merit system might allow producers that prove themselves to upload content of value to the site (again, not the playground clips) to earn free upload status.

If people want to use the site as a means of sharing home movies or other personal content, that would be enabled for free but in a non-public area of the site. Users would need to register to a specific producer to view that content. Of course this might make a place for pron on Youtube, but is that necessarily a bad thing for them?

Having seen what YouTube is capable of and the easy interface for finding, viewing, and interacting with the videos on YouTube (compared to un-elegant Google video, for example), I would gladly pay to watch and upload videos. While a viewer subscription fee would admittedly kill the experience, a producer fee would help concentrate the content of Youtube and make it even more enjoyable.

I saw a kid with a Ren & Stimpy t-shirt the other day. “Wow, I haven’t seen one of those in a long time.” She nodded her head in some sort of agreement. Then I thought about how long that show has been gone, really, and that this kid was no more than 9 or 10, making her birth coincide with the show’s popularity.

So I asked her “Do you even know what that is?” She replied that she had seen a couple episodes at sometime but didn’t remember them well. I guess cartoons can stay in circulation for a long time, like me watching Bugs Bunny episodes decades after they were produced, but can you even see Ren & Stimpy on TV anymore? I guess you can on NICKTON, or NickToons. Where can you even purchase Ren & Stimpy merchandise anymore…Kohls?

Those of you who are listeners know that I’ve had problems with rodents in my house. There was the “squirrels in the attic” fiasco of ‘05. That was resolved and taken care of.

But these skunks!!!! I wish I could convey the putrid smell over the internet so we’re not the only ones suffering. I woke this morning and opened the bathroom door and was knocked flat on my ass by the smell of skunk. It’s not even funny anymore. I need professional help!
Sure it smells bad in the house, but what about outside? Not too bad, really. I don’t know if it blows away or what, but the inside of the house is awful! It’s as if the skunks are sqirting their shit directly onto my olfactory nerve.  I know I smell like skunk after being in the house and the car all morning. People must think I have poor hygene when I finally get to work.

And then, as I pull in the garage after work and take a precautionary sniff of the air…it’s gone. I open the door to the basement and…

Like a 5-iron to the nuts, this smell hits me again and makes me instantly queasy. My eyes tear up. You can’t get many men to weep at the smell of their own house, but this shit’s ridiculous. I am considering moving, although I might have to run that by my wife. We nee to get out of the zoo here.

So until a few month ago, I had a tape adapter for my iPod to listen in the car. One day on my commute home the tape player crapped out on my car. I wept. How was I to listen to podcasts!?!

I purchased a Belkin FM transmitter because there’s no way I’d survive the commute without podcasts to listen to. The problem was that the transmitter didn’t work unless I put it on my dashboard. That was fine, except that now in the warmer months I drive with the windows down, and if I take a turn to sharply (very often) the iPod slides toward the open window. I’ve come dangerously close to either losing the iPod or driving into a tree.

Finally, I realized, why not mound the iPod on the dashboard. I bought a commercial iPod case that I had to modify to work with my older model, and then thought about ways to stick it on the dashboard. Finally, I said screw it. I got a bolt and, using the belt-clip adapter, can now easily clip on the iPod and drive as maniacally as I want, and I don’t have to worry about losing my baby.

Case closed!

Videos I’ve uploaded this week:

• Melvis Johnny B goode

Related Videos courtesy of Eroque and friends:

• Fastest Guinness chug
• Karaoke Recap 4/14/06
  

Videos I’ve found hilarious this week:

• meet a black person
• India driving
• Fake Hypnotism
• Nappy Love Retro

Second Life

No, I’m not addicted…yet. School does let out the first week of June, though. As if Gamecube, Super Nintendo, and Atari 7800 weren’t enough. Why oh why do they make this game free to play?

Anyway, I’m “Regis Desoto”. In case you’re incredibly unhip… You pick your first name and have about 30 options for last name. I guess that’s so you can’t put in your real name or a celebrity’s name to defame.

I liked several of the options, but it came down to Desoto because of a previous band I played in, the “Knights of DeSoto”. It was a play on Knights of Columbus, obviously. We thought DeSoto was the better explorer, and “Knights of Cortez” sounded way to cool for what we were doing. Really he was a conquistador anyway.

Our good friend and drummer Erock just uploaded the most recent “Karaoke Recap” and it’s filled with great and awful moments. The best part is that looking at the sidebar under related content, the next one listed is my posting of Melvis singing Johnny B. Goode! It’s the one-two punch of Eroque and DiscoDoug that’s gonna keep YouTube the edgy resource it is!

Is it wrong to ignore a knock at the door?

That sounded like a Dr. Seuss riddle.

But seriously, there I am, painting my kitchen when someone knocks on the front door. Frantically. Believe me when I tell you that no one ever comes to our house unannounced that isn’t selling something. But there I am, having a moral dilemma because I’m covered in paint, haven’t showered since last night and still smell like an ashtray, not to mention the fact that I’m only wearing boxers and a t-shirt. No, I stand by my decision of ignoring whoever it was. I just hope it wasn’t some Saturday morning neighborhood emergency.

But what are the chances of that? Maybe it was the Cat in the Hat.