Regis’ After School Special

Many peolpe had a glorious time at Hoffman Lanes last night. I left about 1:30 and arrived home, safe and sound. After going to the bathroom, I undressed and went to bed. I dropped my clothes on the floor and distinctly remember falling asleep.

I awoke the next morning at 7:30 on the couch.

…

How did I get there. Did I anger my wife in the middle of the night to the point she kicked me out? Wouldn’t I remember doing such a thing? Did I have an “accident” in bed, making it necessary to sleep elsewhere until I could clean it up? Did my wife remember anything? I can’t wake her now, it’s 7:30 AM on a Saturday. Let the poor woman sleep. Maybe we’re getting a divorce. Was there another woman with me when I climbed into bed last night? I get up to check. The bedroom door is open. I peer in. My clothes are in an orderly heap on the floor, just as I remember. My wife is in bed, so at least she didn’t leave me in the middle of the night. My side of the bed appears disturbed, so I did spend at least a little time there last night.

It’s 8:45, I can’t wait any longer, so I go wake my wife. “Do you still love me?” is my first question. “Are we getting a divorce?” “Are you angry with me?” The questions continue until I ask “Is there any conceivable reason why I would have fallen asleep in bed and woken up on the couch?” She laughs.

I survey the house, like a CSI trying to determine if anything is disturbed, out of place. Did I break anything? Did I drive the correct car home last night? Did I paint the kitchen by chance? All systems are “situation normal”. I guess I just go on with life as best I can.

Why are you not supposed to wake people when they’re sleepwalking? Will it kill them? do they kill you? The only thing not waking a sleepwalker accompishes is staving off confusion until the morning. Which might not be the worst thing, right?

Now, off to actually paint the kitchen.

Frankie and I are setting up a website for “Eggs for Emma”, a donation project to raise money for his niece with Hodgkins Disease. We are looking for a person with flash animation experience to make a brief video (10s or less) for the site. We are looking for someone to donate their talents with full credit given on the site.

The animation would be an egg (decorated like an easter egg) that would open up and reveal an inspirational message/ blessing and thanks. If you know how to use flash, it would be the easiest project you’ve ever done.

Also, if you’re a crack shot at designing websites and feel moved to help me code this project, that would be awesome, too, as it will take me awhile to do do it with a high level of professionalism by myself.

If you are interested in donating your talent to this worthy cause, please contact me at unemploymentline{at}gmail{dot}com. We all would really appreciate your help!

Reasons it’s difficult to drive home nowadays:

1. Warm wather only serves to remind me that I have no AC in the LeSabre. That’s not an awful problem except coming home from work I’m wearing pants and a long sleeved shirt. I need to be wearing shorts, no shoes, and no shirt to endure the warmer weather!
2. For no good reason there are more people on the road (seemingly), making traffic move slower. Where the heck were these people in the bitter winter months! Unemployed? Walking to work?

3. Summer: the best time for months and months of unfinished construction projects. What I love is that they’re expanding a two lane road to a 4 lane road. Obviously traffic volume demands the extra lanes. I bet it will not be finished before I return to school in August. I’ll put money on it.

One positive thing is that I invented an iPod holder while driving today. It would be easy to get a storebought case and nail it to my dashboard, but I think it will be a better project if I fabricate the thing myself. I’ll report back later.

Videos I’ve uploaded this week:

• Rhino Karaoke

videos I’ve found hilarious this week:

• benny hinn vs benny hill
• heavy metal video